I know it was not a good idea, but yes, I used to lie about my weight. I remember telling people I was 165 lbs, when in fact, I really weigh 180 pounds or more.
I told myself they’ll never know anyway unless they’ll check my medical records or they will weigh me on the spot, which I won’t subject myself into unless it’s an annual medical checkup.
But I apologize for doing that. I know whatever reasons I had in the past won’t justify that I did lie at some point. But please hear me out why I did that for once.
You see, I was ashamed of how heavy I was becoming. In college, I used to weigh 120 pounds and still felt heavy. Years after that, I gained freaking 50 pounds and struggled every day to lose them.
You see as a kid, I’ve always had weight issues. People, even family, always try to compare me with my younger sisters who have always been so skinny and petite.
Looking at my old pictures, I think growing up I’m also skinny but compared to them, I am taller and had bigger bone structure so I looked chubbier and bigger.
Due to that constant comparisons, I became so conscious about my weight, but instead of doing something about it, I turned to chocolates, junk foods, and cookies for comfort.
I remembered how I could eat two cups of rice every day and finish one pack of Chips Ahoy in one sitting whenever I feel sad or lonely.
Entering the military
I entered military school primarily to prove something to myself and my family, and hoping I could lose all the excess weight I had.
But it was pure hard work because I was no sporty and don’t have physical activity as a civilian. At 120 lbs, I struggled physically inside the academy compared to my female classmates who were fitter and physically prepared than me. I was too overweight when I entered the military I couldn’t even pass my physical fitness tests.
Luckily, I had upperclassmen and squad leaders who closely monitored me, making sure I eat less and would do extra runs and exercises so I can pass my physical fitness tests.
Two months after, they were all surprised to see how skinny I was. Even my parents when they saw me on their first visit during the Open House, didn’t recognize the dark, skinny me.
And because we were physically and active, we also tend to eat a lot in the academy, but surprisingly, we didn’t gain much weight.
Unfortunately, after two years when I left the academy for good, I imbibed the same routine of eating a lot minus the rigorous exercise so I gained a lot of weight.
As years go by outside the academy, I got heavier and heavier so I just stopped putting my real weight. The heaviest weight I had bordered to 190 lbs. I tried running and enrolling to a gym, resulting in a little weight loss but after some time, I’ll become complacent again, regain my weight and will be back to my usual routine. I was very inconsistent.
It wasn’t until last year when I started having dizzy spells and pain in my lower back that I started to consider losing weight seriously. I want to enjoy life, still have a lot to do, so I need to be healthy for myself, my parents, and my future family.
I tried an intermittent diet which gave me fast results but apparently, with diet alone, I felt so weak and tired all the time.
That was when I realized that there has to be a balance: Healthy eating and regular exercise. Healthy eating for me means eating in moderation. I couldn’t give up everything like coffee so if I drink coffee 3x a day, now I drink brewed coffee once a day just to satisfy my cravings, and just mix it with a little creamer but no sugar.
And since we have a family history of diabetes, I also controlled eating sweets and junk foods. I still eat but in moderation especially with my family during movie time.
And I don’t know if it’s a blessing in disguise because I live with my parents so I had to eat whatever they eat and that’s more fish, chicken, veggies, organic foods, and less meat, carbs, sweets, processed foods, junk foods, and fast foods.
When it comes to exercise, I try to run 2-3x a week and workout at home. Exercise speeds up metabolism and tones the body. It also combats health conditions and diseases.
As of this writing, I weighed myself and guess what I saw? 160 lbs. Yey!
I know lying was bad, but looking back, I think I was unconsciously projecting myself to achieve 165 lbs.
I remember one of my favorite books, Write It Down, Make It Happen by Henriette Anne Klauser, which said something about the magic of writing down a goal because it sets everything in motion.
“Putting it on paper alerts the part of your brain known as the reticular activating system to join you in the play. Putting a goal in writing is like buying a blue Honda; it sets up a filter that helps you be aware of certain things in your surroundings. Writing a full-fledged description of what you want is one way of saying you believe that it’s attainable and you are ready to receive it.”
Well, 165 lbs. was not my goal at that time, but I got to achieve it. So I think I have to set a new goal, and I promise, I won’t lie about it this time. What do you think?